It’s been three years since Kate Taylor wrote her infamous piece  on hookup culture at Penn. And by the way, she describes hooking up is a “functional strategy for today’s hard–charging and ambitious young women, allowing them to have enjoyable sex lives while focusing most of their energy on academic and professional goals.” I’m breaking all the rules, and going up against the odds. That’s right. I have... a boyfriend. And I have answers to MOST of your complaints about monogamy. 

Being in a relationship in college actually has lots of benefits.

The complaint: “I have FOMO, and being in a relationship will hold me back from having fun, going out and singing on stage with Kweeder."

The response: What has changed fundamentally is once you get over your FOMO, you can allow yourself to have fun without trolling for D the whole night. Plus, being a SWUG is made so much easier with a boyfriend—less effort!

The complaint: “Penn is a coven of fuckboys.”

 The response: What may begin as a fuckboy may not always end as a fuckboy. People grow up, and my current main hoe (aka boyfriend) is someone I went home with on the first date and was a senior boy when I was a freshman girl. He was someone who ghosted me, and I, in turn, ghosted him. At the end of the day there was a reason we kept coming back to each other.

The complaint: “I’ll get tired of hanging out with the same person every day.”

The response: Relationships are constant work but in the best way possible. Learning more about the other person and having someone genuinely care about you other than your mom and pets is probably like, the greatest thing ever.

The complaint: “Relationships, love and monogamy are gross.”

The response: I’m sorry, but are we eight years old? I’ll be the first to admit I can be a heartless bitch, hate cuddling and have actually vomited while seeing a couple engaging in some PDA. Granted, I was hungover, but the mere thought of people being loving was enough to make me vom. But when you actually are in love with someone, you’re willing to compromise. Like, hey, I’m not into the whole FB–official thing but making someone else happy feels amazing

The complaint: “My person will change who I am.”

The response: I define my college experience by the relationships I’ve made—from my first love who taught me how to be independent on my own, to my liver that I’ve subjected to way too many gin and tonics, to my best friends who have helped me find my lost keys too many times to count. But I wouldn’t be the person I am without them. Relationships change you in the ways you let them. And hey, don’t like your relationship? You can always break it off.