Street: Thanks for sitting down with us today, Mr… uh…Riddle? Is that right?
Roommate: Oh, call me Voldemort. Happy to be here!
Street: So as you know, your freshman roommate is pretty famous these days! But what was he like the first day you met him?
Voldemort: All I’ll say is he somehow moved into our Riepe double a week early to claim the bottom bunk. Isn’t it, like, the rule of humanity to wait and flip a coin? That’s when I knew he was really evil. Also, half our room was taken up by his shrine to himself. It was a hard thing to explain when I brought girls home
Street: First impressions can be powerful. Did he have any weird quirks?
Voldemort: Every night it would take him hours to remove his mask so I never got to use the sink in our room. So annoying.
Street: Are you surprised that he wants to be president?
Voldemort: Is that what he’s doing? Phew! I thought he was going after MY job!
Street: Was he involved with any groups on campus?
Voldemort: He did a cappella and something called “Demagorgons Anonymous”
Street: Where could you find him on a Thursday night?
Voldemort: Rumor. Nevermind. I’m just kidding—usually Recess, lol.
Street: What was his sleep schedule like?
Voldemort: He would stay up blasting Gregorian chants on his record player until 4 a.m. Like, I needed to sleep too?
Street: So I’m guessing you guys didn’t room together after freshman year?
Voldemort: Well I ended up
dropping out of Penn after my
freshman year. I was kind of an
early Mark Zuckerberg. Except
instead of Facebook I was trying
to take over the wizarding
world. But same difference.