Infinity scarf: As a believer in the practices of Buddha, you desire to live life as a free spirit. You take your accessories almost as seriously as you take doing yoga and eating quinoa. Your circle scarf symbolizes rebirth. It’s more than just a scarf, it’s a mindset.
Fur vest: Real or fake? You decide. But whichever it is, you’re the exact same. PETA might be furious, but if you’re the truest betch, then mink is all that matters. On the other hand, if you’re into the trend but still trying to remain PC, then we’d bet your vest is synthetic. Which is great because you’re saving money and animals, but also horrible because it looks like you bought a bath mat from target and cut holes out for your arms. Nevertheless, you do you.
Puffy vest: You’re a lovable and outdoorsy hippie who actually gets excited about recycling. However, if your puffy vest is of the Canada Goose variety, you’re stepping into a whole other ball game. Fall in Philadelphia is a pretty mild season; it rarely dips below 45 degrees. This means that you don’t need to wear a vest that is meant for below–zero temperatures, unless you want people to guess at your parents’ net worth.
Combat boots: You like to look edgy but are actually just really practical. You get to stomp around campus in your faded “army” (aka Steve Madden) boots pretending like you give no fucks but in actuality, your boots are just a comfortable walking shoe roomy enough to hide your fuzzy socks.
Beanies: Your beanie is your security blanket. Without it, who would you be? Or even more concerning, where would you be? Without the beanie, you’d probably still be brushing the rat’s nest of dirty hair from last night’s frat faux pas. But, with the beanie, all your worries will wash away and you’ll have plenty of time to sit in VP and pretend to do work.
Sunglasses: We want to tell you / that you are the worst person / please take them off, now. Alert: This was written in Haiku so that you can understand, in the simplest of terms, that it’s just not time for these anymore.
High sock–High Boot Combo: As someone who’s all about overachieving, you can’t go anywhere without your “trendy” high socks that peek out ever–so–slightly over your already–high boots. It’s like you want people to know you have socks on and that they’re so freaking cute, just like you want them to know how you got the highest score on your last chem exam and it was so freaking hard. We get it, you’re motivated.
Velvet choker: As arguably the least reasonable accessory in light of the weather, it also says you’re not one who places function over fashion. You’re one hardcore betch. You literally have to plan to wear a shirt, sweater or jacket that doesn’t cover up your choker when we all know you just want to throw on that turtleneck and snuggle up in blankets. You’re the person who always goes without the fracket because if you’re going to put in work to look good, there’s no way you’re going to cover it up—not even at the risk of getting hypothermia.