You’re not the only one who woke up to fire trucks racing down Spruce Street this week. One particular on–campus sorority house burned to the ground. The cause? A member’s anger when she discovered her “little” was taller than she is. Since the girl’s charges are pending, she will remain anonymous.
Street can report that multiple witnesses have corroborated claims that flames leapt from the member’s eyes when she was introduced to her little. “Everything was going normally, but then I saw her shaking and getting really red. Then there was, like, fire coming out of her eyes,” said sorority member Leah O’Donnell (C '17). Though the members are largely disappointed that their house burned down, many could sympathize with their sister’s reaction.
“To be honest, I probably would have done the same," commented a junior in the sorority. "It just, like, ruins all big–little pics until the end of time if your little is taller."
Many girls felt it should be noted that the little would still be taller even without shoes on. “She obviously wouldn’t be able to wear heels to formal. I mean, flats are kind of in again but not THAT in,” one member added.
In response, the sorority has decided to reshuffle some of the big–little pairings. “It is central to everything we do that our members feel their most photogenic in all pictures,” the exec board wrote in a press release.