A team of psychology researchers at the Perelman School of Medicine have just published the results of their latest study. The findings? Compared to dozens of activities, events, and responsibilities, NSO was the only thing most Penn undergraduate students were on time for.

“Even though it astounds me personally that every year thousands of students willingly cut their summer vacation short by a week to attend NSO, many won't say the results were shocking,” said one of the scientists.

The study compared NSO to items like paper deadlines, 11:00 a.m. classes, family obligations, and job interviews, among others. “The same student who has never arrived less than 15 minutes late to a 1:00 pm lecture will come to campus three days before NSO starts to prepare,” the study reports.

In anecdotal conversations, Penn students largely confirmed the findings.

“There is literally nothing on this earth that could make me miss even one second of NSO,” one rising senior told us. "Last year I flew back early from my brother’s destination wedding to get here. Two years ago, my pastor went into cardiac arrest on August 25th and died. Where do you think I was? At NSO.”

A fellow rising senior added, “NSO is really the only part of the fall semester I show up for.”

Though NSO topped the list of things Penn students did in a timely manner, one event was in clear second place: pregaming for fling


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