Where students in the past may have flocked to Adam Grant’s popular “MGMT 238: Organizational Behavior” class, this fall, a new class has taken it’s place: “MGMT601: Adding People On LinkedIn.”

The class is cross–listed with Economics. Administrators reportedly attempted to also cross–list it with Computer Science but were denied by departmental officials, who said in a statement, “Sorry, we’re not home.”

Wharton Professor John Johnson, a university professor for over 40 years, claims that this class is the only way one can obtain a job after college.

“I once thought a fine understanding of Reagan–era economic principles, as well as a soul–crushing desire for personal wealth, were the only ways to secure job success post-graduation, but I’ve realized I’m wrong. The answer is having at least 500 connections on LinkedIn.”

“The grading is based on a fairly complicated algorithm…let me see if I can put it in terms that your simpler ears would understand. If you can get over 500 connections, then you get an A. Anything less will be an F,” elaborated Johnson, after a lengthy sermon on why impractical college degrees get you nowhere these days.

The class consists of 40 minutes of adding people on LinkedIn from the University of Pennsylvania and 40 minutes of adding literally anyone you possibly can.

College senior Susan Susanson, who recently enrolled in the class, said, “I already have 16 connections just from the first lecture—so exciting! And so far, I’ve only gotten like four messages that ask me, 'Do I know you? Stop stalking me.' Maybe don’t put that last piece in the interview.”

Street attempted to contact several Wharton seniors to be interviewed on the record for this article, but none consented, with one anonymous Wharton senior commenting, “I had 500 LinkedIn connections when I was in 11th grade; this is clearly just a class for pathetic simpletons who didn’t even have their portraits professionally done.”

Interested applicants should connect with Professor Johnson on LinkedIn.


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