Frat Bro to Co–Conspirators: “If any girl asks, tell them I don’t have a girlfriend. And if my girlfriend asks, tell her I haven’t hooked up with anyone.” 

Aced Earth Through Time: “Hey just come to my room, I wanna show you my rock collection.” 

Tells it Like it is: “He only likes her for her Juul.” 

Darty Conversationalist: “So, tell me more about the classes you’re taking.” 

Freshman NJB: “Yeah she’s cute but she’s not Jewish.” 

Eager Freshman: “I’m just looking for a Penn–Daddy.” 

Thrive at Penn: “I’m getting with wayyyy too many boys here.” 

Team Follow-Back: “I’m so excited to graduate so I can unfollow everyone in my sorority.” 

Didn't Get a 5 on the APUSH Exam: "Wasn't Abraham Lincoln assassinated at the Iron Gate Theater?"