Design Is Their Passion:  "I'll be honest. I find Comic Sans kind of soothing."

Expectation: "You have cocaine on your lip." 

Reality: "No, that's pimple cream."

Anytime I Hear Something Unpleasant: "Is this about Camila Cabello?"

The Final (SWUG) Boss: "The only scar I have is from Two Friends at NOTO. Is that embarrassing?"

Me Explaining My Internal Monologue: "I must be obsessed with myself in order to survive."