Highbrow
Ask McCassandra: McDonald's and McCuddles
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 How can I spice up my sex life? If there’s one question that Miss Cassandra gets over and over, it’s this one.
Dispatch: 50 McNugget Challenge
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 50 Nuggets. 30 Minutes.
The Round Up: McDonald's
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 Ah, don’t you just love the smell of Big Macs in the morning?
Overheard at McDonald's
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 McD’s patron: If I died and went to heaven… I would still be here.
An Open Letter to: McDonald's
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 My Dearest, Dirtiest McDonald’s, I’m young, broke, hungry and most likely drunk, so what do I do?
Ask Miss Cassandra: Ingrown Hairs and Threesomes Laid–Bare
So I keep getting ingrown hair and I know it’s ingrown hairs and not an STD, but I’m worried that other people won’t.
Penn Ebay Essentials
Penn Cornhole Carrier Do you ever just find yourself saying, “I have all this cornhole gear, but nothing to carry it with!”? Well never fear, eBay has the goods for you.
Word on the Street: Everybody Has a Story
The other day, I was reading in Van Pelt when a girl in my sorority walked by. I waved hello as she passed and she came back to chat.
Overheard at Penn
Sorority girl: I’ll wax anything for you.
Ask Miss Cassandra: When your Partner is Out East and the STI Beasts
Dear Miss Cassandra, my boyfriend is in London for the semester and I want to try Skype sex.
Highbrow Horoscopes
Aries (March 21–April 20): People love being around you because of your vibrant and talkative nature.
Word on the Street: Victoria's Secret
“That’s it?” My first and only boyfriend stared with dismay at my pale, exposed 32A boobs. That was the first time I let a boy take off my bra.
The Roundup: 11.7.2013
After four days of awkward–costumed walk of shames, Halloweekend has come and gone. You put away your cat ears and taking out your winter parkas.
Overheard at Penn: 11.7.2013
Bro in Pottruck sauna: This is like when I was in Israel and it was literally too hot for my iPhone to function.
Ask Miss Cassandra: Do U Lift Brah and the Vibrator–Ga–Ga
Whey to go, bruh
