Humor
Thing of the Week: Alcohol
If you don't know what this is, chances are you just drank a whole lot of it. Have a very merry Fling.
Ten Commandments of Fling
I. Thou shall not say no to any offered beverage, regardless of said beverage's origin. II. Thou must avert your eyes from nude Mask & Wig members. III. Honor your friend from high school who is staying with you (i.e.
Thing of the Week: Party Parasols
We love these Borrower-sized umbrellas for their function as well as flair. While they do in fact spice up the average drink, their true purpose is to be destroyed becuase you know you're just going to end up pulling off that top part from that bottom part.
Word of the Week: Blunk
pronunciation: bluhnk definition: Being in a state of intoxication from both alcohol and recreational marijuana; a combination of "blazed" and "drunk" ex. Harry S.
The worst of Penn 2006
WORST PLACE TO STUDY ABROAD BUENOS AIRES It fucking sucks here. Everyone speaks Spanish. Who knew? WORST FORM OF THEFT PREVENTION: FRESH GROCER'S USE OF A SHARPIE ON PEOPLE'S RECEIPTS Though the pen may be mightier than the sword, it sure as hell isn't mighiter than a glock or a canister of Syntox nerve gas.
Springtime for Texas
This might just be me, but I am sick and tired of announcers talking about our SAT scores during the tournament.
An op-ed on birthdays
1. You are not entitled to be angry at people who forget to wish you a happy birthday. When people forget to wish you a happy birthday, it's for a reason: they were never your friend to begin with. 2.
Word of the Week
Vestihibitionism definition: the flirtatious display of undergarments by a woman Ex. Dennis Rodman, "Yo, whodi, it is mad brik in here.
7 reasons not to vote for the UA
7. You'll be graduating soon. Do you really think that any so-called improvements will actually benefit you? 6.
Thing of the Week
The Package Saver Ever wonder why there is a circular plastic tripod in the center of your pizza?
Work of the Week: Brick
pronunciation: brik definition: cold, meteorologically speaking Ex. St. Patrick, "I said a Brrr.
Thing of the Week: Aglet
Ever wondered what that little plastic thingie at the end of a shoelace is called? Well now you know ... cause knowledge is power!
Thing of the week
Dreamcatchers* These ancient Indian crafts hang over your bed and use the power of the spirits to protect you from bad dreams.
Word of the week
One pronunciation: (WON) definition: Short for "one love,", it is an expression of deep wishes of goodwill from one whodi to another Ex. Rutherford B.
The olympic spirit: is it in you?
You know you're destined for the following Winter Olympic sports if: Male Figure Skating -- You prance around in your mother's clothing doing interpretive dance only to later purge your sins using her bidet. Male Ice Dancing -- The one adjective people use to describe you is FIERCE. Women's Ice Hockey -- You're distantly related to Becky "the Icebox" O'Shea. Men's Ice Hockey -- You're from a country where people have last names like "Khabibulin" that are actually pronounced like "HAV-ee-BOO-lin." Cross Country Skiing -- You say California like Arnold Schwarzenegger and celebrate folklore of the Holy Roman Empire. Male Doubles Luge -- You enjoy nestling your head in other men's swamp nuts.
Penn Inspired Olympic Events
Bullet Dodging: Teams sprint up and down in front of the 7-11 on 38th Street, trying to dodge bullets fired by local West Philadelphians.
New olympic sports
Human curling -- Just like actual curling, except instead of that weird iron-on-a-piece-of-rock thing, you use midgets. Make yellow snow and eat it -- It means eat your own pee!
Word of the week
apodyopsis pronunciation: (AH-po-dye-AHP-sis) function: noun definition: the act of mentally undressing someone. Ex. Buffalo Bill: "Damn, whodi.
Video Library's Top Ten Most Checked-Out Movies This Week
1. Elizabethtown 2. Lord of War 3. Waiting... 4. In Her Shoes 5.
