Candid statistics professor: A lot of you don't know this about me, but I grew up with cocaine. 

Frat $tar (who doesn't know what Ash Wednesday is): I keep seeing all these girls with black Ts on their head, is that a Tabard thing? 

Orthodox Jew at Gourmet Grocer: Thank Hashem! They have what I wanted. 

Perseverant girl in College Hall: I've been hit by a bus, tear gassed and mugged three times. 

Undercover Indian Prince: I once dropped 14,000 rupees on a shot of tequila in Mumbai. Thats like $250, but I did it anyway because I was so drunk.