Bearded Man on Beige: She should've known that a guy who has his name tattooed on his dick is bad news.

Chick in a TriDelt hat: Maybe the rumors are true and I do have rabies! Friend: You’re not foaming at the mouth. Are you sure you don’t mean herpes? Chick: No! Wait, maybe…

Guy on the phone: Did you get my text? … I KNOW!!!! My face is STILL sticky!!!

British girl: What is "beer dick"? As in, foamy penis?