*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.

Atlanta Nene: I'm a size ten. I could be a size eight if I wanted to, but I'm effin' hungry.

New York Kelly: Your blood type is pinot grigio.

New Jersey Teresa: Would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley? I don't think so.

Beverly Hills Kim: You're a slut pig!

Orange County Vicki: Anyone who says money doesn't matter must be poor.

D.C. Michaele's Husband: An invitation to the White House is a really a formality. You do not need the actual invitation to get into the White House.

More in Highbrow: Word on the Street: My Hubby, My Fave Accessory Dispatches: Michaele Salahi Crashes the White House The Round–Up: 12.08.2011