I know last week you said size doesn't matter, but my boyfriend is on the smaller side. I think it is hurting our sex life. Should I talk to him about it? Do you have any advice?

Usually I am all for honesty is the best policy, but in this case, no. I mean if he has let’s just say, a cocktail wiener instead of a bratwurst, he knows it already. I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk about it.

 

Instead here are some tips (just the tips if you will). One thing about women is, many don’t climax from just vaginal sex, see if he will try some other stimulation. Does he have hands? A mouth? I hear most men have them. Just make sure he knows how to use them. If he doesn’t know how never fret, most men can be trained. Most people might say, try sex toys, and by all means if you are into that, I ain’t gonna stop you, but a lot of men can feel a little uneasy or emasculated by them, so maybe, if you are going to, start small… pun intended.

 

This being said, I know the kids today like physically getting it in (thanks New York Times) and this is when positioning is your new best friend. Two things that will really help is shoving a pillow or balled up blanket under your pelvis if he is on top. This will allow him some more leverage and you some depth. If you are on top, lean backwards and if you have already mastered yoga-laties grab your ankles. Trust me, you will thank me later.

 

How often do I have to get tested?

 

Short answer, often. Long answer depends on a few things. Like are you having like some sex, or a lot of sex? With multiple people? Use condoms? Other questions they are going to ask you at SHS? The more sex and the riskier the sex, the more you are going to need to get tested (but like you probably already know that, you are a smart kid I am sure, you got into Penn).

 

Also depends on the disease. You are going to know pretty quickly if you have syphilis, but often chlamydia doesn’t have symptoms. So know your disease and get tested for the sneaky ones more often. The only really tricky one is HIV. It has a long incubation time, like 3-6 months after exposure, so naturally it’s good to get tested about once every 3-6 months. And if you’re at a higher risk for HIV, like by having unprotected anal sex, be sure to do it more toward the 3 month end, if only to meet Erin Taylor, the super cool HIV health care advisor at SHS. Tell her Miss Cassandra sent you, we’re good friends.

I know scary and gross, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. I doubt you are trying to go undiagnosed, untreated, and probably itchy.

 

Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?

Because I can be.

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