Frat bro on Locust: See, if it didn’t have this logo, you might think I got it in Times Square. But now you can tell it’s obviously from Bloomingdales.


Senior boy: I made out with her for a while, and then I told her I was gay, and then I threw up.


Girl in Houston: There are so many people doing what they love. But I actually want to get employed after I graduate.


Girl in Copa: Guys, I just really think I’m going to have to give up breakfast.


Professor: Okay, everyone has an erotic desire for James Dean.