Desperate dude: But like, I’m coming to PV with you. Spring break is the one time of year that frats don’t matter, don’t you think?

Only child: What are these ATM surcharges? I’m going to start taking out thousands of dollars in cash at a time.

Bro to other bro: If you want to have a threesome with an Asian girl, I’m down.

Instabetch at Shake Shack: Can I take a picture of your burger? I already ate mine.

OCR Virgin: Should I bold my ACT score on my resume?