Zete boy: Yeah, we basically invented downtowns.

SDT senior: I can’t wait to fast for Yom Kippur so I can get ready for Vegas.

Beta boy: I would suck his dick to get a job at Bain Capital.

Dumb girl in Houston: I need to take an Adderall to get through an episode of “Scandal.”

Guy who needs a room change: He’s a really nice guy, he just tends to beat the shit out of me.