Curious Bro: He’s married to Amy Gutmann’s daughter? Is she even fertile?

Sensible Young Man: When I was rushing Theos, I used to take SEPTA to downtowns all the time.

Dumb Tutor: If he’s smarter than me I’m going to have to sabotage him.

Girl Heading to an Elmo Party: Men are stupid I should just be a straight up lesbian, fuck bisexuality.

Social Media Try–Hard: She deleted her Instagram because it only had 79 likes. 80 is her cutoff.