Apes freshmen to Apes freshmen: I don't know if you remember this, but I straight licked your face.

PhiDelt bro: You look Sephardic as fuck.

Strocialite: I think I look a lot like the moon emoji.

Engineers in Starbucks at 1 AM: Don't sleep. You'll die. But you'll also die if you stay awake.

Skinny Omega: I want to eat because I don't want to black out, but I like, don't want to eat either.

Blonde girl going through her friend's Facebook: What the fuck are you doing with your life? You were so cute in high school.