Boy walking on Pine: Bro, you’re the king of stimulants.


Sophomore with Longchamp bag: You better be careful about what you drink. You get aggressive when you’re blackout.


Guy who works at Sweetgreen: That’s why I work here—because I have the freedom to be myself.


Preppy fuckboy in Houston: Every time I would actually be able to ski in the Alps, it’s, like, vacation time. So it's filth—all of France is there!


Soon to be teen mom: I would rather have a child than walk to Student Health for Plan B.


All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.