Jesus man with microphone and step stool on Locust: You are not holy.

Sassy SWUG (Senior Washed Up Gay): The SABS–iest continent post–grad is Asia.

Theos freshman: Banksy used a photo of me in one of his paintings.

Confused goy: I thought Kweder was a Jewish holiday, then someone was like, “Yeah, Kweder every Tuesday.” And I was like that’s not how holidays work.

Boy in Steiny D bathroom: There were basically two Flings this year—one for Latinos and another for everyone else.