Donald Trump is leading the Republican polls, and it appears he may actually become President. In a super legitimate interview this past week, he announced that all he does is win. "To me, it's all about winning. I'm going to win. DJ Khaled's 'All I Do Is Win'? Literally my lifestyle," Trump said.

Fuck. But here at Lowbrow, we like to think positively. Sure, President Donald Trump would probably deport anyone he doesn't like. He would seize "the classy parts" of the world for the US of A. He would accuse every woman of being butt–ugly and/or trying to sleep with him. He would say a bunch of stupid shit to make the rest of the world hate him. And the White House would be repainted to match the spicy Dorito color of his complexion. But is President Trump the worst thing that could happen to 'Murica? NO. 

Here are some things that would be worse than Trump becoming president:

  • Global zombie infestation
  • Bioterrorism (e.g. bubonic plague)
  • The national anthem is changed to "Party in the USA"
  • Kim Kardashian as the first female vice president
  • ..Which means Kanye as Mr. Prez
  • ..And North West as the symbol of our nation
  • Justin Bieber as the voice of our generation
  • Canada is added as a 51st state
  • Vengeful polar bears roaming the cities, mauling random pedestrians and fulfilling their vendetta against humankind
  • ..Which means Trump would deport the polar bears
  • The sun exploding
  • Mass human extinction