One professor to another professor: I admire you because you're delicious.
Kinky frat bro: My brother definitely had to lick chocolate sauce off of his girlfriend’s nipples because of me.
Girl looking at herself in Apes bathroom mirror: Do you ever wonder how you became this heinous?
Resourceful frosh: I had to crop a mojito out of my PennCard picture.
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Notes From a Cuckoo Editor–in–Chief
Solutions by The State News
