Your Anti–Sex Playlist

Songs that will 100% lead to failure in the sack

Hello humans of the top party school. Sadly, fling season is over, but a new season is here. Formal season…and YOU know what that means....Nothing says “will you have sex with me after we put on nice clothing and go to an expensive venue for 20 minutes” like a “will u go formal with me?” text. Ah...what a romantic generation.

Now, what’s something that will definitely fuck up your sex mojo (sexjo) (Ed. Note: nope.) for the big night? Your receding hair line? No. The nearly fatal tumble pre–venue? Nerp. The drunken uber split on the ride home? No, but *risky*. It’s when you make the sad, sad mistake of playing THESE songs below when you’re rounding for home. Ch–ch–check it.

***Now, I know many of you will disagree with us on this playlist. I understand that John Mayer gets some of us going, but his soft voice and extremely difficult guitar picking doesn’t really do it for us. Well, at least he’s good with his hands.***

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