Welcome back, children. Highbrow knows coming back to Penn can pose some trying times for our youthful bodies and minds, so we’re here to provide some wholesome advice on how to actually enjoy your 2017 NSO/back to school experience. Whether you’re a fresh chicken or a wise super–senior who never seems to leave campus, Street has you covered with our professional, university–approved tips.

Number 1: Delete whatever hangout/party app you heard about from some flyer this instant, unless you like going to parties where you physically cannot move and over half of the students inside don't even go here. 

Number 2: If it is an actual Penn–sponsored event, just stay home. Unless you want to go snag your yearly photo with Amy G—that's valid. Run over there in your cute little outfit, grab your pic, and then go home.

Number 3:  Hang out with people you actually know and like. Taking this weekend to catch up with old friends or making some new ones through genuine conversations about how lame whatever event you’re at is will surely provide a memorable bonding experience.

Number 4: After a day of dayging, Chipotle is not a good idea. You will wind up vomiting in front of the CVS and that one person you don’t like will MERT you. (Disclaimer: Karma's a bitch).