Watched Narcos Once: I feel like the drug market in Philly is ripe for disruption.

Disease and Human Evolution Prof: Like Ebola, I am evolving. 

50 Shades of Red and Blue: My safe word is Amy Gutmann. 

Moral Relativist: He could run over one of my distant family members and I would still hook up with him for the head. 

Hillel Regular: Wait, is Shabbat every Friday?

Finger Foodie: C’mon, food just doesn’t taste as good if you can’t moan "daddy" while you’re eating it. 

Horny Marxist: I’m over here stroking off Lenin, don’t mind me.