Stressed Zoomer: “I allocate at least 20 minutes each day just for existential angst.”

Mom of a certified baddie: “Why are you thirst–trapping on Instagram? Don’t you have homework to do?”

Someone who should make quarantinis again: “Should I make quarantinis again?”

Traumatized physics professor: “Have you been to Trader Joe’s? I refuse to go. It reminds me of Yugoslavia.”

A self-care inspiration: “I only make my bed so that it looks good on Zoom.”

Confused kid on a Houseparty call: "Your mom's from Tallahassee? Is that in China?"