A Polygamist Polytheist: "It's like a monotheistic relationship because they only date each other, right?"

Just Transferred from BYU: "If I engage in soaking, am I still a virgin?"

Thinks They're Victoria Paris: "They should replace Pottruck with a Brandy Melville." 

Learned how to Read A Calendar Yesterday: "The only thing standing between me and the weekend is the rest of today and tomorrow." 

A Walking Red Flag: "If I cobble together all the men I'm talking to, I have one full boyfriend."