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The Roundup: 1.26.2012
Highbrow just got into the frat of its dreams! But now we're getting our faces hazed off. :( But at least we're not alone… Theos wasted no time in taking their new kids down a peg.
True Life: Fake It Till You Make It
As a 21–year old senior woman, I have had a decent amount of sexual experience. I have dealt with virgins, sexual aficionados, Lotharios, rough lovers and quick comers.
Word on the Street: Guilty Pleasures
I’m always the most awkward around new people. I feel the need to point out every personal flaw I have, which usually reverts back to my horrible taste in just about everything.
Overheard at Penn: 1.26.2012
Nursing student: You don’t even know the ass that I wiped today! Girl at Commons: I don’t know why everybody keeps saying that.
Dispatch: Megabus-ing Back to Penn
7:00 a.m.: Wake up still drunk. Why did I book a 9 a.m. Megabus again? 7:06 a.m.: Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal. 7:11 a.m.: Stuff any clean clothes I can get my hands on into a duffle bag.
The Round Up 1.19.2012
Welcome back to Penn, dear friends. To those abroad last semester, welcome back to America.
Approval Matrix
Think you went somewhere cool for break? We’ll be the judge of that. Check out our approval matrix to see how your vacation measures up.
Overheards: 1.19.2012
Theos upperclassman: So, I ask every rush here if they want a bid. They say yes. I say fuck you. Girl in Houston: It’s always good to keep a few spoons in your purse.
Post-Break Depression
I’m only a freshman, but newborn and noobish as I may be, I like to think I’ve figured some things out about this place.
The Round–Up: 12.08.2011
*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. Hello, darlings!
Overheard at Penn: 12.08.2011
*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. Atlanta Nene: I'm a size ten.
Dispatches: Michaele Salahi Crashes the White House
*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. 5:35 p.m.: Hit the salon to get ready.
Word on the Street: My Hubby, My Fave Accessory
*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. As any true housewife knows, husbands are an essential part of maintaining the super fab, luxurious lifestyle that goes along with the title of being a real housewife.
Vote for what? Tweet of the Week
[poll id="21"] And congrats to last week's winner— @jacobschulman: Every time I have to make a PPT, I die a little bit on the inside.
Overheard at Penn
Alpha Phi–ver girl flyering: Can we all just please pretend we’re having fun? Sweetgreen employee: We ain’t got no more lettuce. Girl in line: I’m literally going to die. Beijing fortune cookie: You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Owls douche: WOW THAT IS SO IRONIC. Guy flyering: Eric!
The Round Up
Theta’s pre–Thanksgiving scavenger hunt antics could fill up this whole section on their own, but Shoutouts took all the good eating disorder and cocaine jokes.
