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Patrick Ford-Matz


Word on the Street: Our Better Half

We didn’t ask for this to be easy. We didn’t come to Penn looking for a relaxing four–year spring break.

B Roll: Roger Ebert Was A Fucking Idiot

Beneath a canopy of crucifixes, I train my gun on a cowering creep with a major hard–on for Jesus.

You Have to Listen to This: Sam Smith

Like every other fad-tracking fool, I got the Macklemore haircut this summer. Shaved the sides, left the top long, strutted out from the barber feeling like a progressive pop star, albeit shorter and more modestly dressed. Within a week, I was regretting my choice and whining nonstop about what seemed to be an unending onslaught of unfriendly comparisons to the “Same Love” MC, my favorite of which was “You look like a young Macklemore, but even gayer.” One friend though, went a different route.


After a four-year hiatus, OneRepublic frontman Ryan Tedder’s cotton candy falsetto is back and in top flighty form.

The Love Survey

It’s going to be the best time of your life: We were freshmen when your father said he could spend the rest of his life with me until death or incarceration do us part. Beneath those Locust lights, I knew he was the one.

Word on the Street: Calm Down Before the Storm

Standing on the corner of 43rd and Market with my weight in canned food sitting like a ton of steel inside my housemate’s hiking–sized megabackpack, my spine caving into an awful kind of inverted “U,” I truly began to understand the concept of the sophomore slump.

Hurricane Shopping

Oh my god. Supreme Shop n Bag is freaking NUTS.

Free Fallin'

Ego's guide to your first (or fourth) fall at Penn.

The Art of SABS

The art of the SABS is simple in origin, yet complex in execution. Release yourself from the constraints of humility — let your Ego soar. You deserve it, you beautiful person.

Campus Tour Translator

We know what Penn tour guides are saying to prospective students. But what aren’t they saying?

Your Year in Review

Let Ego help you calculate how much your year sucked/sort of sucked with this easy quiz — keep track of your score as you make your way through it.

For First-Time Flingers

If you're a Fling virgin, don't stress. Let us help you make the most of your first time. It won't hurt, we promise.

Extreme Merchandise Makeover

Why settle for an object’s original use when you can use it creatively?

Le Voyeur: What Returning/New Shows To Watch This Season

Smash Watch out Glee, there’s a new gay musical show in town, and it’s actually good.

Album Review: Born To Die

Let me preface this review by noting the grudge I hold against Lana Del Ray for shaming SNL with the most breathy, awkward, wince–inducing performance I’ve seen since passing an asthmatic homeless woman choking out “At Last” in a New York subway station.

How-To: Survive Pledging

Pledging can often seem like a nightmarish, life-ruining, tequila-soaked wrecking ball crashing through your perfect little life, but it’s not totally unmanageable. Take some of Ego’s loving advice.

Post-Break Depression

I’m only a freshman, but newborn and noobish as I may be, I like to think I’ve figured some things out about this place.
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