Humor
Worst of Shoutouts: Spring 2014
Every year we’re stunned by Penn students’ sheer inability to submit funny shoutouts. Since you never learn, we’re making an example of some particularly heinous submissions. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you.
Letter from the Editor: 04.24.2014
You know that feeling when you’re not yet sick but the back of your throat is a little scratchy and you have to blow your nose when you wake up and you know you’re about to come down with a quarantined– in-bed–level cold?
Overheard at Penn: 04.24.2014
M&T Girl: Do you think I can read my cheat sheet if it’s size 5.5 font?
Shoutouts Spring 2014
To City Step: How can y’all be so ratchet and still be allowed to work with small children? To all of SAE: So how many of you have hooked up with each other? To the homeless man outside CVS: I’m not going to spare some change for you if you keep calling me big guy.... I’m a girl. To the cruel, cruel lady who makes salads at Houston: You’re the meanest lady in the world.
PDF: 04.24.2014
Click on the cover to read this week's issue. Corrections were made to the online version of the feature article, "From the West Bank to West Philadelphia," and can be found here.
4/20 + Passover = Your Very Own Weed Seder
Disclaimer: This section is fake. As always.
Page Six Six Six
Our beloved Claudia Cohen once ran Page 6; here is Lowbrow's Penn version just in time for Holy Thursday.
Shoutouts!
It's been a long semester. Send us your shoutouts. We are so ready to listen.
Fling Lineups We Would Like to See
Guett a load of this, SPEC
Which Senior Society Chalked What?
You may have noticed the slew of senior society chalking cropping up around around campus (how else can they remind you they exist?). Lowbrow has the 411 on which gaggle of campus elites is responsible for marking up West Philly.
Overheard at Penn: 04.10.2014
Indian 1: Dude, I heard he Frenched her. Indian 2: What does that even mean? Indian 3: Indians these days...
Overheard at Penn: Fling Edition
Freshman girl: Where’s Molly? I lost Molly! Do you know where I can find Molly? No, Molly Schwartz!
Lowbrow's Top 5 Darty Alternatives
Your favorite frats are offering a new batch of drug and alcohol—free Fling events.
Lowbrow's Weekly Links: 4.6.2014
It's been a great week at Street, from our fashion guide to the money issue, and it's been a great week full of funny stuff on the internet too.
Venmo Money Mo' Problems
Disclaimer: This section is a joke. Don't sue us. But if you do, we'll livestream it.
Lowbrow's Money Saving Tips
Disclaimer: This section is a joke. Don't sue us. But if you do, we'll livestream it. *Live off campus?
Overheard at Penn: 04.03.2014
JAP: How does Ernest Owens have a boyfriend and I don’t? (Ed. Note: Ernest also was selected for EOTW and you weren't.) Guy on Locust: They couldn’t get actual drugs, so she took a horse tranquilizer. Pledge: My Tinder standards are, like, not as low as my real standards. Hipster: Once I realized they were in Pikapp I was like “WTF” because I thought they went to Drexel.
