Friend or Pho

This steaming hot app changes the hair of everyone in your favorite PHOtos into noodles. Yeah you heard us right, all this app does is make spaghetti hair. Look out for its sister app Pho Money, Pho Problems, being released this fall.

Price: $6.45 cash only, 10 more cents for the to–go box


Just a lot of photos of appetizers. We are going to be honest, this app was only created for the pun. #doitforthepun.

Price: It comes free when you do the three course.


It’s Yo, but only for Jews. It’s also kind of like J–Swipe, but nothing like J–Swipe. Great bar mitzvah gift for the tech savvy 13 year old in your life.

Price: Any denomination of 18


Like Tinder, but instead of meeting up for sex you just go to the same party and stand on opposite sides of the room not talking to each other. Perfect for those who always feel left out when their friends are complaining at brunch about their shitty sex lives.

Price: Your dignity.


Spotify lets you connect to millions of artists. Spoonify connects you to one—Spoon! Hey, does anyone remember Spoon? I think they played at Made in America? That guy in your poetry class loves them. They were in “Garden State” or something?

Price: Free, but you never get laid again.

DIk Yak

A great place to dish about dick. Boyfriend broke up with you? Tell the world how weird his penis shape was. Was he uncircumcised? Double points!

Price: $4, but he swears it’s $6.


Watch out, Facebook, the game has changed. This isn’t like old social networks. In fact, it’s not even an app. It’s just a book. It’s a book. Go fucking read.

Price: $110 at the Penn Bookstore, $6 used on Amazon. Free at the library, except that asshole in your polisci class always gets there first.