Lowbrow
Street Shoutouts 2005
To the girl in line in front of me at Mark's Cafe who threw a tantrum because an employee neglected to put soy milk in her Mocha Javalanche: The composition of your afternoon's beverage should not be that important to you.
Word on the street: Nice cubicle, wanna fax?
Rejections never resonate with me. It's autumn of my senior year, and I just got word on my first job application.
From the editor
Ever since I first heard Rufus Wainwright's "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk," I've liked it, because I felt like it was my song.
From the editor
Relationships are complicated things, built on trust, faith and honesty. Unfortunately, I'm an untrusting, heretical, liar.
Word on the street: My little Runaway
The first guy ever to run a marathon made it 26 miles and promptly died -- not a good day for ol' Philippine.
Counterpoint
Attention "Penn" students (if that is your real school name): you are being misled by the malicious slanderings of a vagabond ninnypacker with hipster glasses and a working mother.
Halloween Trolls
College: Naked "artist-liberal" Troll Favorite Sin: Sloth, Gluttony A Day in the Life: Arise at 3 p.m.
Word on the street: I'm an Audioslave for you
Sometimes I feel like I just don't belong. See, I straddle this dual existence, a dichotomy if you will, where I'm all clean and prep on the outside but soul-shredding head-banger in my core.
From the editor
I think the Nava-ho proposition of 2004 was the last straw. Slutty costumes? Shots instead of Snickers?
Word on the street: I Am Not A Nittany Lion
It's about 2 a.m. during the last night of N.S.O., and I'm walking home with my roommate. As we pass the dueling tampons on Locust, these two freshman ruffians cross our path and call us names.
Legendary Quotes by Michael Kind
Michael Brett Kind is a Sophomore in the College, hailing from Chicago, well not actually Chicago, but pretty close to it, like a suburb, that's kinda north but not quite a part of it.
From the editor
This fall break, I met my match. It's not that I'd thought it impossible, I'd just stopped expecting it.
Penn Drinking Game
Round 1 -- The Obvious 1. For every Jew in the room, take a shot. 2. For every kid from the tri-state area, take a shot. 3.
Word on the street: My Tummy Says it's sorry
According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control, six out of 10 Americans are either overweight or obese, but have you ever noticed how these same large and in charge Americans are obsessed with Disney's Winnie the Pooh?
A 'Street' Exclusive Panel Discussion:
Moderated by Alf. We don't know why, either. Alf: Welcome, friends. As an alien living far away from my home planet and native people, I eat cats.
From the editor
Being a senior is kind of like being the star of an aging TV show. You have the cool house, the awards and accolades, often a solid following of fans.
The Spectaguard Spectrum
Mischievious -- Do you think the kids would notice if I take off my pants? Yeah, they would. It's hard not to notice my love-baton. Afraid -- Oh man.
Word on the Street: Size doesn't matter
In response to the Penn application essay question, "Why do you want to go here?" I theorized that by default, Philadelphia is the best city for a university ("DC is corrupted by politics, NY by crime and Boston by college students and rats"). Now that I'm a couple of semesters of college closer to not being in college, I'll very soon be picking another city.
