This fall break, I met my match. It's not that I'd thought it impossible, I'd just stopped expecting it. After 22.33 years, you kind of get into a swing of things. I knew it could happen sometime, I just didn't think it would. And, I certainly didn't think it'd happen in KFC.
I came upon my appreciation for Diet Pepsi naturally. When I was born, my father worked as a lawyer in-house for PepsiCo. I don't know how many of you have been to the Pepsi headquarters in Purchase, New York, but they're kind of spectacular. An altar to carbonation, if you will. I wasn't allowed to have more than a sip of Nutrasweet at a time until I was 12, but after that, all caps were mine to twist. And twist I did. Like most of us, I have many vices, but of Diet Pepsi, I am Viceroy.
Still, this past Monday night, somewhere between Park Slope and Carroll Gardens, I ordered a bucket of soda I couldn't finish. Who knew the KFC Mega Jug could stymie even a slugger-chugger like myself?
I was on my way to a party and my friend and I stopped for a beverage. It all seemed innocent -- KFC is certainly no nouveau-hipster bar. (Or, maybe that's exactly what a KFC somewhere between Park Slope and Carroll Gardens is.) Still, no soda-slacker herself, my friend went with the smallest they had. I, of course, never meddle with moderation. And so, there I sat, with 64-ounces of bubbling goodness, complete with a handle for transportability.
I drank, and I drank, but I couldn't finish it. And I was too embarrassed to carry it with me. So, two trips to the bathroom and 30 minutes later, I threw it out with at least 20 ounces to go. I've barely thought of anything else since.
We spend lots of time envisioning these moments in our lives: sudden, surprise instances when our talents are put to the test, but how will we feel when they arrive? When all that we know is tested? Will we curl up, fetal-style, in the face of our failures? Or will we persevere, battling and rebattling our demons until they're conquered, lying prostrate (or in my case, empty) in front of us?
Who knew how invigorating real challenges could be?
Mohammed had his mountain. Me? Well, I have my Mega.
KFC, here I come. -- Yona
