This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
In the world of kitchen antics, the conventional positions are known: the chef on top, the one under him, and a whole slew of characters lending a helping hand. But stop to think long enough, and you'll realize there's an entire cast of characters to whom you've barely given the one-minute treatment. Recently Food and Drink was able to catch up with this peculiar breed of revolutionary, and here's what she had to say:
Food and Drink: How exactly do you heat things up in the kitchen?
Sluttia del Fellashio: I toss salads. I'm a salad tosser.
F&D: How is salad tossing regarded among your peers?
SdF: It's often looked down upon. People usually look at the salad as something you can toss yourself. But they're wrong. Your salad should be tossed by a trained professional.
F&D: Is there much training involved?
SdF: More natural skill, to be honest. It's all about knowing the salad and exactly how it likes to be tossed. Instinct is something you can't teach - just like tossing a ripe salad.
F&D: How old were you when you tossed your first salad?
SdF: I was 13. I remember it like it was yesterday. To be honest, I was quite frightened. A freshly washed salad is rather intimidating, especially when you're as close as I was. But I took a huge breath and just dove in. It was liberating.
F&D: It sounds like it. What's your favorite aspect of tossing salads?
SdF: Oh, the flavors. Definitely the flavors. Each salad has its own unique set of aromas and tastes. I've had the opportunity to toss salads all over the world, and I've never found two exactly alike.
F&D: How inspirational. Anything else you'd like to add.
SdF: I think that's about it. We're still talking about licking butt holes, right?
