Step 1: Put up posters of films by under-appreciated directors. Purchase coffee table books on film noir, Italian neoRealism and cinéma vérité. Explain that your usual arts-haus indie theatre has been closed for inventory the recession, otherwise you would have met there.
Step 2: Rent some movies that weren’t directed by Ron Howard. Or Steven Spielberg. For example, Festen, The 400 Blows or Crimes and Misdemeanors. Fan them out on the coffee table. Popcorn is optional, pending the level of pretentiousness of your partner.
Step 3: Show off your knowledge of cinema studies. You can’t go wrong with, “The director’s goal of depicting the inescapable chaos of subaltern interaction would have been much better realized if he had used an oblique angle in this scene.”
Step 4: Name drop. “Woody saved me two seats at Cannes opening night but I just couldn’t ditch Quentin.” Smile mysteriously.
Step 5: Integrate classic lines into your conversations. These could range from “the Dude abides” when your lover asks for a glass of Pinot to “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”
Step 6: Make your move. Instead of screaming your partner’s name, yell out “Stella! Stella!” If you’re really daring, shout “Try it again — from the top!”
