Cat fights, date rape drugs and nudity. At the state school to end all state schools, the Theta Pi sisters sure know how to bring the drama.
After a silly prank ends in a girl’s death, the sorority queen bee (Leah Pipes) convinces her sisters to dump the body into an abandoned mine shaft. The girls keep their dirty little secret until graduation, but then all hell breaks loose when a cap and gown-clad killer goes on a campus rampage with a tire iron. The ensuing chaos can only be described as the bastard child of I Know What You Did Last Summer and Girls Gone Wild.
On the whole, the movie is quite predictable, even for those who have not seen Mark Rosman’s The House on Sorority Row, upon which the film was based. You have the good girl, the cold bitch, the nerd, the slut and the Asian thrown in for diversity. The plot, camera movement and music are all incredibly formulaic; you even know exactly when to close your eyes.
Sorority Row won’t give you a whole new perspective on life, but at least it doesn’t try to be provocative or deep. Once embraced as a typical slasher flick, the film can almost become entertaining, as it alternates between bitchiness and cheesiness.
To quote the house mother (Carrie Fisher) when she talks to the killer, “Don’t think I’m afraid of you. I run a house with 50 crazy bitches.”
1 star
directed by Stewart Hendler, 101 min, rated R
