Walker: DO: -If you happen to receive a flyer and don’t want it anymore—hide that shit, yo. Nothing screams “I’m weak and willing” more than a bundle of flyers clenched in your fist. -If you really need to get to class and have no time for this flyering business, power walk through. Hold an open textbook for added effect. Muttering under your breath really sells it. It also makes you seem like a crazy person, but take what you can get. -Wear headphones if you don’t want to be approached. It’s an easy visual cue that says “Hey! Please don’t talk to me!,” like wearing Crocs to a bar. -Recycle. But seriously though. DON’T: -Even if you know you’ll never show up for “The Knitting Club’s” first GBM—don’t immediately throw away a flyer. Wait until you’re out of sight before discarding a flyer. -Don’t be the jerk you desperately want to be. Mind your Ps and Qs and say “thank you” if given a flyer. Like basic human civility and stuff like that. -If the flyer doesn’t answer all of your questions, don’t be afraid to ask the group for more info! You will be MAKING THEIR DAY. Also, wait a sec, isn’t that what flyering is for in the first place? Duhhh.
Flyerer: DO: -Make eye contact—nothing screams “Take this piece of paper away from me” more than creepy, extended eye contact. -Be enthusiastic, not obnoxious. Creating on–the–spot skits to sell your group’s event? Super cute. Blocking the entire walk and shouting “You shall not pass without taking a flyer”? You’re literally the worst. -Showcase your group’s talents. If you’re a dance group, dance as you flyer. If you’re an improv troupe, tell (good) jokes. If you’re Model Congress, you better have a damn good banner. -Target anyone wearing 2017 apparel. Those suckers are still signing up for listservs. Now’s your chance. DON’T: -Try to give a flyer to someone on a moving vehicle! Dedication to your group is super important, but not turning into roadkill should always be a priority. -Performing a little sketch with your group to promote your event? Great. Blocking the walk and shouting “You shall not pass without taking a flyer”? You’re literally the worst. -Lie. There’s nothing worse than showing up to a GBM that promises free food and leaving with an empty stomach. (That being said, if you say there’s free food, people will come. So... say that there’ll be free food). -Lose hope. You will be ignored 95–percent of the time—it comes with the territory of doing the most hated job on campus.
