Tell us about your itinerary.
Well, I really just went where the universe guided us. From hostel to hostel, town to town, meeting with other free spirits along the way, connecting, sharing food and drink, just basically being Lana Del Ray.
But where did you go?
Oh, right. Where didn’t we go? Amsterdam, Paris, London, Seville.
So you were really only in each city for about two days...
Yes, but each stay felt like a lifetime; I’m assuming you’ve never been through Europe, but it was like I was born again each time I arrived in a new city. It helps that Europeans are so progressive and that the drinking age is so low. The time really flew by, but at the same time it was an existential eternity.
Alright then. Any great food you’d rave about?
I mean, obviously the croissants and baguettes in Paris were just to die for. But it was really the wine that was the highlight of Paris, the pubs in London and the discotheques in Seville. European society is so much more accepting than America, what with only needing 16 or 18 years of age to drink.
What was your favorite part of the trip? Other than drinking, that is.
Probably the football game we went to in Seville. American soccer just isn’t the same, especially since you don’t have to deal with the hassle of a fake ID at the stadium. Legally enjoying a beer and watching a game is just amazing.
What was the biggest culture shock?
You know, I thought it would be the language, but I have to say the European view of alcohol was refreshingly different. It’s not about binge drinking; it’s all about leisurely enjoying some drinks with dinner. It was truly enlightening to be a visitor of such an open continent that allows people under 21 to drink. Sorry, am I going on too much about this?
No, please, tell us more about the drinking age.
I could talk for hours about it! Wine is cheaper than water across the pond, can you believe that? And speaking of water, the trip really changed me...I can only drink Perrier now. I’m never going back to tap water. If you had to insist on bottled flat water, Evian would be the only possibility, but I’d really rather have a nice merlot.
Did you visit any good museums or historical sites?
Oh yeah, at the Anne Frank House we got to see Justin Bieber’s signature in the guest book! That was really exciting. Also in Amsterdam we went to the Heineken factory. That was an incredible experience.
How has your life outlook changed?
Well now I come to dinner, like, "Where’s the cheese plate, my betches?" You know, I didn’t think Europe would change me...and it didn't. I'd more say that I changed Europe.
*Fooled you! Welcome to Lowbrow, where everything is made up and the points don't matter.*
