1. I’ll write my paper before I go. (You forgot.)
2. I’ll use my recently–perfected–abroad–Spanish and leave the resort to interact with locals. (You didn’t.)
3. I’ll remember to use sunscreen. (How’s that sunburn?)
4. I won’t drunkenly text my ex. (Flew out the window when you realized you were staying at the same resort.)
5. I won’t be one of those kids who over Instagrams their vacation. (Oh! But that sunset was so pretty! And that palm tree!)
6. I’ll do some reading on the plane. (You were still drunk.)
7. I’ll take advantage of the food and drink at my all–inclusive resort. (You only actually did the drink part.)
8. I won’t respond to my ex’s booty call. (Was it worth it?)
9. I’ll drink coconut water every night to avoid a hangover. (At least there are cute pics of you drinking out of a coconut.)
10. A “staycation” is way more fun than a beach somewhere. (Awww, you really wanted to believe this one.)
