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Word on the Street: Everybody Has a Story
The other day, I was reading in Van Pelt when a girl in my sorority walked by. I waved hello as she passed and she came back to chat.
Overheard at Penn
Sorority girl: I’ll wax anything for you.
The Roundup: 11.14.2013
Hurrah for the Red and the Blue! You certainly had an eventful Homecoming, didn’t you flowers? When you weren’t throwing toast and wearing your “I Met My Spouse at Penn” buttons, you were providing us with some juicy gossip that even the alums would be excited to read.
Ask Miss Cassandra: When your Partner is Out East and the STI Beasts
Dear Miss Cassandra, my boyfriend is in London for the semester and I want to try Skype sex.
Highbrow Horoscopes
Aries (March 21–April 20): People love being around you because of your vibrant and talkative nature.
Word on the Street: Victoria's Secret
“That’s it?” My first and only boyfriend stared with dismay at my pale, exposed 32A boobs. That was the first time I let a boy take off my bra.
The Roundup: 11.7.2013
After four days of awkward–costumed walk of shames, Halloweekend has come and gone. You put away your cat ears and taking out your winter parkas.
Overheard at Penn: 11.7.2013
Bro in Pottruck sauna: This is like when I was in Israel and it was literally too hot for my iPhone to function.
Ask Miss Cassandra: Do U Lift Brah and the Vibrator–Ga–Ga
Whey to go, bruh
Word on the Street: Things You Can't Black Out
“Mommy’s on the floor and she won’t get up.” Normally, I’d be mad at my sister for interrupting my homework, but on an otherwise regular Wednesday night of my junior year of high school, I knew that her tear–stained cheeks and panicked words overrode the importance of my A.P.
The Round Up: 10.31.2013
Trick–or–treat, lovelies! Actually, you don’t have to pick, because Highbrow has a real treat this ’Ween.
Overheard at Penn: 10.31.2013
Girl discussing Halloween costume: We should just be tribal people. But, like, without being racist.
Dispatch: Butt Chugging
10:01 p.m.: Supplies: Beer, check. Vodka, check. Funnel, check. Butt, check. 10:07 p.m.: Lock myself in the bathroom and turn on the shower to hide what I’m doing from my roommates.
