A great man once said that, "Love is like a box of chocolates -- by the time you get to the creamy ones, you've already hit it with all the nuts and you're just plain sick of the whole thing." Or something like that -- I've never been good with accuracy, which is probably why the DP never lets me write for them. (Dear potential internships: Just kidding! Call me!)
I'm bringing up love, of course, because Valentine's Day is in two days. Allow me to bare my soul for a moment: I do not, in fact, have any romantic plans on Valentine's Day. And, you know, I'm not particularly broken up about it. You might even say I don't care at all, which seems to be different from those of you who have written shout-outs to decry Valentine's Day and the fact that you have no date for it.
I have, in recent days, been privy to an e-mail sent out by Counseling and Psychological Services to members of the Penn community. Now, though I've had no dealings with them, I'm sure that CAPS is made up of well-meaning and intelligent people. But in this case they say, and this is a direct quote, that if you're having trouble finding a warm body to share your bed you should, "Develop a personal development action plan for 2004. For example, there may be some patterns in your life that you wish to change that may be preventing you from meeting that special someone. Perhaps you need to learn how to take more risks or be a better listener." Now, I may not be a psychologist, but I am editor-in-chief of Street, and I feel like that qualifies me to give advice. So you wanna hear my suggestion? Stop listening to CAPS. For god's sake, pay for it if you're that desperate.
And while I'm randomly ranting, you know what else pisses me off? People who like you, and tell you or your friends they like you, but never tell you who they actually are. That's be en happening to me a lot lately, and it stopped being cute in, oh, say, fourth grade. It seems to always happen more around Valentine's Day -- it's like the real point of the holiday isn't to give cards or chocolate, but to have license to do stupid things that we'd never ever do if it weren't February 14th. Is it something in the air around now?
I always thought holidays were supposed to be fun. But it seems like most people make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day that whatever fun might be involved in it is totally gone. So I have a message for all the people who have spent the past week with their away messages saying something along the lines of, "Oh my god, I'm so depressed I want to die. Men/Women suck and no one will ever love me," and that message is: grow a nutsack. Seriously.
I need a girl to ride, ride, ride,
-Alex
