Was your meet–cute a meet–weird?
You’ve made a bunch of new friends, but don’t let yourself get too excited. Although some NSO buddies can turn into true friends, most will just end up smiling at you awkwardly on Locust. But how can you tell? Ego has identified a few tell–tale signs. You meet with a handshake and become friends instantly. Suddenly, you’re making grandiose promises to one another. Promises like starting a business together, selling something online. Anything online. Or you meet in the bathroom line and end up in there together, so chummy that you don’t even stare at the wall when she pees. You hug a lot. Making friends in a rush of spontaneity feels great in the moment, but the next day, social anxiety will hit.
Are you bound by elaborate and irrelevant connections? He’s your grandmother’s friend’s nephew’s son you were supposed to meet. Your Nanna assures you he’s a very nice boy. Did you hear me? A very nice boy, honey. Now you’ve met the very nice boy, who seems only sort–of–nice. And there isn’t anything to say to one another that doesn’t have to do with Grandma. There’s no way you’ll ever talk to this kid again. The last thing your grandma recommended to you was shoulder pads, and we all remember how that worked out.
Is the internet a better friendship platform for you two? You meet on the Official Penn Class of 2015 forum, and it's love at first poke. You’ve overused Facebook chat, exchanged GIFs and liked even their most banal posts. You guys just, well, click. And when you finally meet during NSO, it’s like you’ve known each other all your life. It’s also then when you realize that their online persona is very different from the reality. Offline, he’s introverted and has a speech impediment. At least you’ll always have those videos of Japanese teenagers lip–syncing to Backstreet Boys.
Was your new friend wearing a crazy outfit? You saw the hat and had to comment. “I love your hat!” “Thanks! What’s your name?” The necessities are exchanged, you both fake–laugh, but you feel a special bond. This person is great, interesting, awesome. This is the crazy outfit effect. The more wild the costume, the more charming the wearer seems. You may feel a sense of authentic soul–to–soul interaction, but it’s probably just an illusion.
