Girl at Starbucks: I don’t even like Fling. It’s like everyone thinks they can be drunk. Like everyone, not just the cool people. It’s worse than Feb Club.


Freshman: I’ve spent like six hours total with this kid and we spent most of that time making out. Why does he think he knows me?!


Drunk girl in Smoke’s: Sex is like pizza.


Sorority sister: It was all about alien birth.


Bro in Notre Dame shirt: Dude, Alesso is only $30. That's like free.