1. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. For example, “It makes me uncomfortable when I find a severed human head in the vegetable crisper,” as opposed to, “You’re a serial killer, can you stop?”

2. Set up a chore wheel. She doesn’t want to take out your gross trash and you don’t want to clean the blood off of her chainsaws all the time.

3. Set boundaries. If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t want to hear the muffled screams of an innocent person as the life is slowly drained out of them, ask your roommate to politely put a sock on the door so you know when something is going on.

4. If you are having a party, feel free to ask your roommate to clean up first. Clutter gets in the way of the fun—no one wants to turn up in a basement filled with dismembered bodies.

5. If you finish the orange juice, just buy more orange juice, don’t turn it into some whole passive–aggressive thing.