Leonardo Da Pression: “It’s like The Last Supper but depressing and in Commons.”

Erewhon Apologist: “If my smoothie doesn’t have moss in it, I don’t want it.”

On his eighth glass of milk: “Do I track my macros? No, I just try to eat as much good shit as possible.”

Confusing hunting with gathering: “I thought an antelope was a fruit.”

Life after the dining plan: “You say you cook, but all I see are cut up peaches and lettuce.”