A real celebrity interview
Jack Black sat down with Street earlier this month at the Four Seasons to discuss his new movie, School of Rock, working with kids and his musical career.
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Jack Black sat down with Street earlier this month at the Four Seasons to discuss his new movie, School of Rock, working with kids and his musical career.
There is something difficult about watching an actor who was once pretty good starring in a vehicle which is almost patently bad. Cuba Gooding, Jr. was not a shoo-in for an Oscar in Jerry Maguire -- better performances have gone without -- but he was funny and cool and talented. It's not even that The Fighting Temptations is such a horrible movie. It's just hard to imagine that Cuba hand-picked this from a large selection of viable scripts.
Titanic
David Spade sat down with Street at the Four Seasons last week to talk about his new movie --in which he actually acts--occasionally.
I thought if I discussed vibrators enough, if I kissed enough people, if I forced myself to use the word penis in conversation at least three times a week, one day things might be different. The thing is, I was wrong. I am a prude for life, and no amount of sex or therapy or drugs will change that. Sure, I can continue pretending to be someone I am not, but why live a life of shame and embarrassment? I first heard the word "prude" when I was thirteen, and even though I had no idea what it meant, I knew it had to mean something bad. Prude sounds like prune, and prunes taste terrible and look like roaches and make people have to shit, which is gross. (Or, at least, it's gross to a prude like me.) "A prude is someone who has never kissed a boy," my friend Josie from Staten Island said at summer-camp. "Oh," I said. "Interesting." From that second on, I was determined not to be a prude. And losing one's kissing virginity at sleep away camp is never that difficult. If only losing true prudity was as simple. Dictionary.com defines a prude as "one who is excessively concerned with being or appearing to be proper, modest, or righteous." I disagree. A prude is someone who cannot talk about sex or smell a fart or see someone else's hickey without feeling repulsed. Sure, I make attempts. When I was fourteen, I was talking to a boy I liked on the phone: "Do you have, an, umm, erection? Like right now?" I asked. I was young perhaps. Na‹ve, certainly. Inexperienced, for sure. But I was trying. "Sort of," he said. "I'm at, like, half-mast." "Oh, cool," I said. "I have to go." More recently, I told a story that involved the word "lube." I only giggle when I hear the word "arousal" occasionally. Still, I will never be cured. The other day, a perv woke me up, pretending to be delivering a message from a friend. "Do you want it soft or hard?" he said. "What?" I asked, genuinely confused. "It's meant to be a joke," he said. "Umm, soft...?" I said. "The answer is hard, but okay. Do you want it gentle or rough?" "God, umm, gentle." "Well, the answer they circled was rough, but okay. Now, this part you repeat after me. Ok?" "Ok..." I said. "Oh." "Oh." I said in a tiny voice. "Ohhhhhhhhhhh..." "Oh." "Yessss. Yesssssssss." Silence from me. "Come on," he said. "Or I won't continue." "Yes." "Ohhhhh, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." "This is insane," I said. "Whatever," he said. I hung up. The problem is not that I couldn't revel in the call. Only nasty-ass characters in Todd Solondz movies do that. It's that I didn't even realize what was happening. "I've always wondered what idiots don't just hang up the phone when freaks call," my friend Ariana said. "Ha. People like you." The realization that I was inextricably a prude occurred when, after receiving one inappropriate phone call, I called the police.
There is something devoid of journalistic integrity about tootin one's own horns. Still, if one acknowledges the fact that the horns they toot are in fact their own, then, the case must, on some occasions, be considered under a different light. And, just because Terrell Quimby came alive in the pages of Street for like two years does not mean you should take our word for his coolness. Seriously, don't. You don't even have to trust his creator, Nathan Schreiber, College '03, who also thinks the exhibit is kind of rockin', probably. Trust the College Media Advisers, who named T.Q. the best college comic of 2001. Nathan Schreiber wants you to come to the closing. "There's gonna be popcorn and kool-aid," he says. "A lot of my friends will come down, and it will be really great." Perhaps coolest of all, or almost coolest (because nothing is kooler than kool-aid) is the station at which you will be able to make paper sailboat hats, which you can proceed to wear throughout the show. That's wearable art for you. And, for those of you who have trouble not parting with your money (yes, children who frequent Smith Brothers, we mean you) Schreiber is planning on selling bound copies of his comic for less than twenty dollars. Killer. If you become addicted to seeing the progeny of Penn's art at the Fox, than don't worry, there's more. Jacques-Jean Tiziou, College '02 figured out how to live the good, artistic life: get the University of Pennsylvania to pay for you to go to the most absolutely remote place in the world, move into a yurt, stuff yourself with yak butter, spend the summer taking photographs of people who really live in yurts, and of yaks. Then return to Philadelphia and let that aforementioned University put said photographs on display in their very own art display space. It's just one way to live the good life, but it's a pretty good way. And the cool thing about Mongolia is it is really different, unlike Italy, which is only sort of different, and is full of American study abroad kids anyway. In Mongolia your friends give you goats for going away presents, not tomato sauce or kiwis. So go to this exhibit and see what a real foreign country is like, cause we're not in Florence anymore, Dorothy. And best of all, Tiziou was photo-editor of the 116th board of the Daily Pennsylvanian, so if you want to accuse us of incest, well, go on. Be our guest.
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