Lowbrow
Senior Goodbyes
Andria Bibiloni: Thanks to Ross and Chris for letting me design for Street even though I frowned a lot and my style was never fancy.
From the Editor
Jen died. Joey went with Pacey (That bitch!). Jack got with Pacey's brother. And Dawson got to direct his own show, The Creek. And so it goes.
Street Shout-Outs
CAVEAT: The views expressed in the following belong only to the individuals submitting the ads, and do not necessarily reflect the views of 34th Street Magazine and its editors.
Money Munching
There's a new porn video coming out, and for the first time in my life, I'm tempted to go out and buy it.
Cultural Elite 2003
GabI Arnay: The "Dancing Queen" of Bloomers has so much Friars' spirit that she wears their hat everywhere. JESSICA BRAND: Everybody dance now!
WWGD?
I stand before you in protest. In protest of myself. I am intelligent, I scored higher on the SATs than the vast majority of you, I enjoy anchovies but don't eat beef, I drive quite poorly, I attend an Ivy League university, primarily because my parents made me, and it seems that white girls do not want to date me.
From the Editor
Not everyone can carry the weight of the world. Unfortunately as the sole representatives of culture on this campus, this burden often falls on our shoulders. Throughout our 34 years of existence, we have dropped hints, names and occasionally bombs as to how you might attain an inkling of coolness.
Bain-ality
For juniors and seniors, the end is near; and it's pretty dark. You've probably spent three years immersing yourself in the demography of cocaine use in east Angola in the 19th Century only to realize now that no one cares.
Shut your American Pie-hole
The nightmare is over. Thankfully, most of you neglected to notice as the third installment in the American Pie series (American Wedding) sputtered, wheezed and ground to a much-needed halt within days of hitting the box office.
From the Editor
This past Saturday night after one too many, I found myself sitting on my living room couch composing a list entitled, "Should these things be important to me now?" 1.
From the Editor
Penn kids, you're not cool. I'm sorry it has to be like this. But even my photography professor agrees.
Meg Ryan fans need not apply
Over the course of my three years at Penn, I've been threatened with deportation twice, frisked three times -- not just checking my boots for box-cutters, but the full deal, burly mustachioed women and all -- and most recently, over Fall Break, denied entry into this land of the free/home of the brave by a smug U.S.
New York, New York
We're going to have a little lesson today. Listen up, because there'll be a quiz later. New York is a great city.
From the Editor
While running to catch the subway in New York over fall break, I passed a woman wearing a shirt bearing the message I LOVE ME.
TBM DVDA
We all know about the librarian who allegedly possessed a full library of lolita files on his computer.
WOTS: All the world's a stage...
When I walk through campus, I don't see a lot of pretty faces; I see a lot of potential strippers. Big booty hoes and D-cupped boogie-babes amble through Penn's hallowed grounds without even realizing their potential -- to take off dem nasty clothes.
From the Editor
This issue is not about you. No matter how many times you find yourself dancing on top of a bar and discover your right boob hanging out.
From the Editor
When I got into Penn, most of my parents' friends gave me the congratulatory slap on the back. But when we ran into my mom's friend Mrs. Wygotski at the mall, she gave my mother an incredulous look and screamed: "You're sending him there?
Total Recall
After months of preparation, the California gubernatorial recall election is fast approaching. While it would seem that only students from California with absentee ballots would have the fun, even those who have never been to the Golden State can party. Here's the deal: There are 135 candidates in the race.
