Remember when dense, overgrown Neanderthals with biceps for brains, chest hair before the sixth grade and vocabularies consisting only of homophobic slurs and "you suck" were the Brahmin of the social hierarchy at school? And remember how they stole your milk money, told your class that you bit your toenails and gave you daily atomic wedgies all because they caught you reading a book during recess?
Well take heart, friends and countrymen, because a) you're not in the public school system anymore (those of us that ever were, anyway), b) being smart is back with a vengeance and c) to quote the ever-pertinent Toros from Bring it On, "That's all right, that's okay, you're gonna pump our gas some day!" Those oafish halfwits that used to rule the school will rue the day they ever used the word "nerd" as a derisive term. Especially when you make them roadkill after they pump fresh diesel into your platinum-encrusted Hummer .
Gone are the days when physical strength trumped mental prowess. While we like chomping down on a nice, toned quadricep as much as the next person, it's abundantly clear that smart is the new sexy, geeky is chic, and a Dean's List certificate will get you more ass than a varsity letter ever will. We all saw the Shermanator get Shannon Elizabeth, Molly Ringwald get Jake Ryan, and Charles get Lady Di. And we all love Lady Di.
Now, we realize you may have the "geek" part down, while the "chic" remains a mystery. While your Magic: The Gathering cards should remain in storage, don't pick up that football just yet. Follow our lead on literature, fashion, and square-shaped items. It'll be easier than going cold turkey on that online Dungeons & Dragons community forum.
