Twelve senior studs will compete for the crown, and six juniors will entertain during the preshow. Who doesn't love practically naked Penn men battling it out to benefit Women Against Domestic Violence?
What makes you a big man on campus?
Ulrik: A fortunate consensus of others' opinions of me. To myself, I am but a regular guy from a small place far away.
Brewster: A severe and utter disregard for decorum.
Stinson: You have to be on campus. And you have to be big. I mean real big.
Max: My philanthropic track record and boy band good looks.
Arthur: You just can't do better than my sexy chocolate self.
Alex: When I wake up in the morning I piss excellence.
How were you recruited to compete?
Charlie: That's a good question. I guess the lovely ladies of AXO think I'm a pretty sweet dude.
Ben: Over the past three years we have been intensely training, developing our "drink until blackout" and "waking up not knowing where you are" skills.
Tripper: Fine wine, large steaks, and tons of booze.
Brewster: They emailed me, I emailed them back. Pretty standard.
Stinson: Four years of chicks Facebook-stalking me finally paid off.
Alex: I was discovered, not recruited.
What's your talent?
Ulrik: A short and seductive portrayal of my cultural heritage.
Ben: Dancing Soulja Boy, but it is not really a talent, it is more of a God-given gift.
Tripper: I'll be playing "Hot Cross Buns" on my recorder.
Max: Think Tom Cruise from Cocktail meets Papa John's.
Arthur: I will be doing cha-cha Latin dancing with a sex toy blow-up doll.
Alex: Most likely the no-pants dance. It's the only thing I know how to do after downing a bottle of rum.
How are you going to combat stage fright?
Austin: With a shot of courage and a twist of lime.
Ulrik: I don't like combats. Nor do I know fear. I will put my energy into something more constructive, like shaking my ass properly.
Ben: We have been practicing drunk in front of hot girls every day this week, so I don't think it will be a problem.
Adam: I get to bring a friend. Jack.
Brewster: Everclear and Xanax. My shrink said it would do wonders for my anxiety.
Stinson: Lots of baby oil.
Max: Whiskey ginger ales.
Arthur: I never have stage fright. I am a creature of the people.
Alex: Won't be an issue. I love embarrassing myself. I wish it were a career choice.
Who would be the biggest woman on campus?
Ulrik: "Big" is not a proper qualifier for a lady. I have never told a lady she was "big."
Stinson: Amy Gutmann. No doubt.
Alex: Amy Gutmann.
Charlie: Amy Gutmann. She's big on the inside.
How did your committee head whip you into shape?
Austin: Blood, sweat, and beers.
Adam: Mental torture.
Brewster: Death threats.
Max: 5 a.m. wake-ups and ab routines.
Charlie: I thought that whip was a secret.
If you don't win, who do you want to win, and why?
Stinson: If I don't win, I'd really like to see Professor Shatte come back and take the crown. His Australian accent still keeps me up at night.
Charlie: I don't really understand what you're saying here. If what happens?
Austin: Tripper Sivick. The kid's a fighter, and he's laying it all out there on the line.
Ben: I really don't think that will happen, but I would want Tripper to win because I don't think he has won anything before.
Tripper: Next question.
What is one thing you have learned through the BMOC process?
Ben: I'd fuck me.
Stinson: Male bonding is better with a bit of alcohol and a man thong.
Max: Don't piss off [Head of the Senior Boys Committee] Ali Lapinsky.
Charlie: Waxing your chest isn't as bad as people say, but Nair is probably a better way to go. That, and serious dancers warm up with an awesome pelvic thrust.
Tripper: Nair over razors.
Who will you thank in your acceptance speech?
Ulrik: I will thank the AXO sisters, the audience, my dedicated friends, my lovers, and my parents who taught me that nudity is natural.
Brewster: Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, Jose Cuervo, Captain Morgan, the 1972 Miami Dolphins, and my mother.
Stinson: My mama, Luna Bars and Pottruck third floor.
BMOC is being held tonight at 9 p.m. at the Trocadero, 1003 Arch Street. Tickets are $10 on the Walk, $12 at the door.
